Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have colour TVs?"
"Give me a green one, please."
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.
Our Sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He
promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column "Salary Expected" : He was not sure
as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a
pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a
search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him
killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily
"71st and *again* barefoot!"
A Sardar goes into a store and sees a shining object. He asks
the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
The Sardar then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?"
He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!
What will a Sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of
paper? (he already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a photocopy of the white paper !!!
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They
were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll
get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh
replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then we
would be a state of USA and we'll automatically get developed." All the
surds became happy at this very simple solution but an old surd did
not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The surd
replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE
TAKE OVER USA ?????"
Why did 18 Sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.
How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.
What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
The back of his head.
What do you call a Sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
What do you call a Sardar who has only one drink?
Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the
guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the
station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 Rupees,
the Sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the
barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji
was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face,
and suddenly R screamed when he saw the mirror.
Said his wife " What's the matter?"
Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and
woken up someone else"
Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has Clock Tower
when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji
"Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took
the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours
the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji
walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a
fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."
Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor
asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a
shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I
picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
" Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened to
your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."
Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first
match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light.
He tried another. It wouldn't light. The third one finally
lit. lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it
his vest pocket. "What for did you put that match in your vest
"That's a good match. I'll use it again."
A Sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a
bystander as to why're the guys doing what they're doing. The bystander: A
Marathon race is going on
Sardar: What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Sardar : Then why are the others running?!
One Sardar came to Madras and wanted to do shopping in Burma
bazaar. His Tamilian friend told the Sardar that the prices
will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the
Sardar went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor
told 2000 Rs. Sardar asked for Rs.1000. vendor told he can
give for Rs.1800 for which Sardar told no, no only Rs.900.
Vendor told ok, I will give it for 1500 Rs. for which Sardar
bargained for Rs.750. It was going on like this when finally
vendor out of irritation said he will give the Sardar the stereo
free of cost."Our Sardar asked whether he will give two."
A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to
Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.
Our Sardar says, "I want my $20 million."The man replied,
"No, Sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million
and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19
Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it
and I want it."
Again, the man explained that he would only get a million that
day and the rest during the next 19 years. Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! if you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my 1 dollar back!"
Sardar Banta Singh went to the emergency room with the tip of
his index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta Singh replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my
face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened.
So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going
to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.
After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were
returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa ingh was occupying the
lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most
berth in the train.
When train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested
Santa Singh to bring him a cup of ice cream to which Santa readily agreed.
When Santa and his son returned they found that a South INdian who couldn't
understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth. Outraged, Santa
Singh called the TTE and asked him to help. TTE requested that he could not
understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santha Singh explained
the whole situation to him in English. Santa explained, "That man sleeping
on top of my wife not giving berth to my child".
A Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks
it up and says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"
How many Sardars does it take to pull off a kidnapping?
Six. One to kidnap the victim and five to write the ransom
Why are Sardar secret agents the best in the world?
Because even under torture they can't remember what they have
been assigned to.
Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They're there for those who don't drink.
Why do Sardars have see-through lunch box lids?
So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're
going to work or coming home.
Sardar,a Japanese, and a British were lost in the desert. They
were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had
nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they
continued their journey. The Japanese took the radiator, the
British took the seat, and the Sardar took the door.
After a while of walking the British asked the Japanese "I'm
confused, why did you bring the radiator?" The Japanese
responded, "If I get thirsty, can drink the fluid."
Next the Sardar asked the British "Why did you bring the
So the British said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the
sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat."
Finally the Japanese asked the Sardar why he had chosen the
The Sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when it
gets hot all I have to do is roll down the window."
Why couldn't the Sardar write the number "eleven"?
He didn't know which "one" came first...